the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
