my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I didn't notice because vodka
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
