That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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