I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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