just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
