What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
