I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
