So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize