How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
