My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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