I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I supernannyed him into submission
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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