Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
