What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
