i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
