I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
