I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize