did you get engaged???
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
