just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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