i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
