ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
where am i from again
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
