My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
