We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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