I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
