you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
