Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize