I just made out with a guy for $7.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
