So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I bet he comes in French.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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