You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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