is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
