I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
