I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
