He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
