That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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