i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
