please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
