I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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