Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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