tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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