I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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