Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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