Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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