in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
