ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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