There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
