i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
