U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize