Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize