Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
