I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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