Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
