You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So many bounce houses so little time
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
