I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't deserve a penis
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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