Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
