were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
