Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
