Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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