Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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