she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
