i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
