i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
