bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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