the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
