is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
