it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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