Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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