He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
