What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
