Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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