Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
