I can text with my tongue
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
