So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
