Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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