Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
