I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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