glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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