fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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