you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Randomize
