I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The beer is more important than you right now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
