so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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