yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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