I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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